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Have you ever heard of energy vampires? An energy vampire is anyone or anything that drains your life of positive energy. This person or thing can consume your mind and fill your day with negativity. After reading more about how to overcome energy vampires, I wanted to share tips and tricks with you. #1 - Recognize the Signs Recognize when you are around someone or something and begin feeling drained. What physical reactions are happening? Do you feel a tightening in your chest? Are you tired? Do you have a headache? Take time to identify the signs, so you can learn what lifts you up and what leaves you completely drained. #2 - Take a Deep Breath Did you ever have someone tell you that deep breathing was good for you. Well...if you are a Mom who has given birth, you know how important breathing is to overcome excruciating labor pains. This same mantra is important in your daily life. In moments when you are feeling completely zapped, take a deep breath. An app that has helped me is Calm. When I have long drives by myself, I listen to Calm to help center me. Check it out and let me know what you think. #3 - Set Boundaries It can be hard to be clear with others but it is so important. Telling someone that you can or cannot do something may be hard. Trust me...I know. It's not about convincing someone else that they have to feel the same way as you. It is about saying, "This is what I need for me to be healthy." Boundaries are especially important if someone tries to push your buttons. You have a sizzling feeling inside. In that moment, breathe, and choose not to react. Trust me...you will never regret not overreacting. #4 - Step Back and Take a Look Have you ever taken the time to identify who or what aggravates you? In Oprah Magazine, Judith Orloff MD writes about the law of energy. The law states that we attract people who are exactly what we struggle with. What did she mean by this? She states that if you often feel angry, notice if you are often around others who are angry. Do angry people drain you? If yes, focus on your own anger and learn how to address it. Once you have worked through these feelings, you may find that angry energy vampires no longer affect you. There are so many tips and tricks that I am sure you have too. I would love to learn more. Share your tips and tricks at the hashtag #leadwithsunshine on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. Let's help each other conserve our energy, peace, and happiness, crush the energy vampires, and take our power back.

I love searching for motivational videos. As a former English teacher, I loved using www.wingclips.com as journal or discussion starters in the classroom. Wingclips uses modern day movie clips to illustrate lessons and inspire. The videos are even categorized by themes (love that). As a leader, I think it is just as powerful to share motivational videos. We can all fall into moments, entire days, or sometimes even weeks/months, where unfortunate or downright awful circumstances can begin to control our thoughts and actions. I sincerely believe that it is vital to find someone or something that can help you to overcome the circumstance. When I stumbled upon the YouTube channel: Fearless Soul I began clicking on video after video and finding motivation, topics to write about, and sharing with friends/family that I thought would be encouraged or inspired. Throughout my 18 years as an educator, instructional coach, and leader, I have always believed in the importance of viewing/reading anything you would share to ensure it aligned with core values such as integrity and kindness. As I watched the video that inspired me to write this blog post, I loved the message: you should not allow your circumstances to control your life and happiness. This message shared by Fearless Soul is so important and the advice that follows: "Leave the darkness of your past behind so it does not block the light of your future." "If someone did you wrong, the ONLY WAY you can win, is if you let go and move on. If you live in hate, they win. If you live in the victim story, they win." "If you want to win, you must focus on building your future and start right now." Let's join together and commit to not allow circumstances to control our life, our happiness, or our future. JUST FOR FUN - 20 Questions will make you smile As you finish out your week, I wanted to share a fun game my daughter likes to play. You can play this game with a friend in the car, with a classroom full of students, during professional learning for staff, or with a relative you what to learn more about. My daughter calls the game "20 questions." She always reviews the rules of the game before we begin. :) They are simple: Step 1: Decide who goes first. My daughter Avery likes to say she can go first because she is always the youngest when we play. Step 2: The first player asks a question that everyone has to answer. Sometimes we play would you rather or we ask questions that cannot have yes or no answers. Here are a few examples: If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? Would you rather go skiing or lay on a beach? Step 3: After each person gives their answer, the person to the left goes next and asks a question. The game continues until you have asked 20 questions. We usually play until we are done eating. How do you win? That's the best part of the game. Everyone wins because you all learn something new about each other. I hope you enjoy the game as much as we do. P.S. Need a good book filled with questions you could ask? Check out 3,000 Questions About Me at Target.

Do you spend time trying to figure out who you are? Or comparing yourself to others? Stop comparing yourself. You were made for a purpose. You are unique and that should be celebrated. Maybe a situation, person, or comparison trap has made you believe you aren’t enough. Don’t believe the lies. It might not be simple to just wake up and be ok. It will take time but anything is possible if you try. Do you wish you were healthier but have struggled for years. Is it your eating habits or food consumption getting in the way? Are you in a toxic work environment or unhealthy relationship? Do you allow your mind to fill with negative thoughts and find yourself complaining? Whatever you struggle with, there is help out there. It could be a person, a doctor, an app, journaling, choosing different people to surround yourself with, faith, exercise, therapy, or reading. For me, I have struggled with my weight since I was in middle school. Recently, I discovered Noom. I cannot tell you how helpful this app has been for me. setting bite-sized goals learning the psychology behind my food choices learning more about nutrition having a coach who checks in on me and encourages me tracking my food tracking my water intake tracking exercise What this app has taught me is that anything is possible if you try. If you invest in yourself. If you believe you are capable. If you realize you are enough. STOP and REFLECT What is a bad habit you need to break that is causing you to think negatively, eat unhealthy, complain, or feel awful? Now write why you feel that way. What thoughts go through your mind when you reach for the mini chocolate cupcake or you want to start complaining about someone? Make a goal to spend an entire day focused on changing one thing. Maybe it’s drinking more water, removing yourself from unhealthy conversations, or reframing your thoughts. Life is a gift. Stop trying to prove your worth. If you are waiting on validation from someone else, you will always feel like you are starving. Remember...everything you need is within you. You are already enough.

Life is about keeping first things first. This can mean something different to each person. Maybe it means your family comes first. Maybe it means your faith comes first. Maybe it means your health comes first. Regardless of what comes first for you, it is important to keep your priorities intact. When you allow your job, a situation, or someone to control your priorities, everything can get out of whack. This can cause your health to deteriorate. It can cause emotional distress. It can hurt relationships. Is there something in your life that is making your priorities come in last place? What will you do to change this? STOP AND REFLECT: Who or what has caused your priorities to change? How can you change this? Do you need someone to help you? Check out this graphic with ideas on how to keep your priorities intact.

Have you ever allowed a situation to get you down? Have you allowed the sadness to permeate your entire being? Felt that a situation was impossible? What if you chose to flip the script and see times of desperation as moments that can lead to great revelations? Hear me out on this...what if: A moment when you receive awful news wasn't a moment that defines your life but a moment of possibility. A moment where you can take a different path in life. A moment where the awful news can be seen as a great revelation. A revelation that you need to slow down in life. A revelation that you are supposed to take a different path. A revelation that saves your life. During the holidays, my daughter and I love to watch Hallmark movies. There was a movie this past year about shoes. Yes, that's right...shoes. The main character has an invisible guide who gives her beautiful shoes. When she places them on her feet, she is transported to a moment in the past or her near future. She is allowed to see a glimpse of her life. She witnesses that each decision she makes has a ripple effect on her life. I know we cannot put on a fancy pair of shoes and see our future, but what if we could choose to see times of desperation as moments in our journey that can lead to great revelations? I would love to hear about a time that felt overwhelming, disheartening, or down right awful. Did the impossible situation lead to something new in your life? Better health after a time of despair? A new job? A new love? A new passion? Today's challenge: Take time for yourself. Even if it is 10 minutes. Sit and reflect on a situation that felt desperate. What is something you learned from this situation? How can you use what you learned to help someone else? As we head into a new week, let's choose to see the moments of desperation as an opportunity for a great revelation. If this sounds difficult for you at this moment in time, find someone who can support and uplift you. Find someone who will be there for you no matter what. Don't have that someone. Reach out to me. I want to uplift you. Click HERE and choose SIGN UP in the upper right hand corner to subscribe to my blog and you will receive my weekly magazine to your inbox that will include quotes, videos, and articles to uplift you.

Have you ever wondered: Why is this part of my story? What good can come from this? I spend each morning reading a devotion and reflecting. I find someone and something to be thankful for and then sit and ponder why certain situations are part of my story. What am I supposed to learn? I have always believed in the idea of leading with sunshine. You might wonder: what does that mean? I believe it means that you understand that you will have chapters of your story that feel like they were written by someone who wants to hurt you. You wonder how any of this can be used for good. The sunshine comes into play when you choose to look for the lesson in the heartache and continue to move forward. You don't sit and wallow in the pain day in and day out. Please don't get me wrong. I have had days where a chapter of my life was so heartbreaking that I cried; however, I have always been blessed with someone who has encouraged me, cared for me, and shared devotionals or songs to uplift me. Because of these blessings, I choose to pay it forward. I want to uplift others. I want to believe that I can be the person who encourages someone during a difficult time in their life. Don't believe that the broken pieces of your story are terrible and pointless. Believe that the broken pieces of your story have a purpose beyond your wildest dreams. They will help you heal, grow, change your mindset, and believe something beautiful is on the other side. Know that the broken pieces signify a new beginning. A new opportunity to create a new chapter of your story. A chapter that uses the broken pieces of the past to help others and make a difference. I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to go throughout life looking for the sunshine in the storm, the lesson in the broken pieces, and choose to believe that there is something beautiful on the other side.

Take a moment to reflect on the quote below and consider how you deal with challenges during the day: “You can’t calm the storm. Stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” Your day has started and one challenge after another seems to choke the life out of you. How do you keep a positive attitude? How do you continue to live with integrity? It will be hard. Some days it will feel almost impossible. But if you develop tools to help you in these moments of adversity, you will continue to live a life of integrity. What tools do you need? It all depends on what struggles you face. Do you struggle with patience? Calm Yourself with Sunshine for the Soul: Practice thinking before you speak. Being able to identify the moment or trigger that causes you to react. Self-talk - sometimes you just need to talk through the situation. Do you struggle with sarcasm? Calm Yourself with Sunshine for the Soul: Identify when/where you use sarcasm. Imagine that every time you use sarcasm it is being recorded. Would you be ok with the entire world hearing what you said? Was that the appropriate time and place? Do you struggle with fear? Calm Yourself with Sunshine for the Soul: Do you know what makes you afraid? Try to flip moments of fear into moments of gratitude. Let’s say you have to talk in front of your peers. You are terrified. Instead, think...I am thankful I have the opportunity to share my opinion and that others want to listen. Do you struggle with voicing your opinion? Calm Yourself with Sunshine for the Soul: What if your opinion could change someone’s mind/actions? When you hold back, you will never know the positive outcome you missed out on. My Great Aunt Marie taught me that regretting action is much easier than regretting inaction. Do you struggle with confidence? Calm Yourself with Sunshine for the Soul: First and foremost, stop negative thinking. Identify why you feel that way. Use self-talk to overcome the negative thinking. Replace with positive self-talk. Are you trying to live up to someone else’s expectations of you? If yes, you need to learn who you are, what you believe, and what you value. Then, shape your life around your vision for yourself, not someone else's vision of you. The biggest barrier to feeling confident is constant comparisons. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique for a reason. How boring would this world be if everyone was alike. When you decide to identify a struggle, and then choose to make necessary changes, you are choosing a growth mindset. This type of mindset allows you to face any challenge as an opportunity for growth. An opportunity to learn.

Have you ever had a deep disappointment in your life? A moment where you sat in disbelief and said, "Is this really happening to me?" I understand how you feel. Over the last few years, I've walked through heartbreaking seasons in my life. And although our circumstances may be different, you probably have had your own moments were you wrestled through frustration, tears, or disbelief. These moments don't just disappear, but I have always believed that trying to find the lesson I should learn helped me keep going. Don't get me wrong...I have ugly cried. You know the kind where you look yourself in the mirror and say ugh, stop that right now. In these private moments you can sit and wallow in the hurt, or you can seek the lesson and hold your high and walk through the fire. During this opportunity to find hope, you will need a friend that will encourage you, a belief in something greater to uplift you, a song that fills you with hope, or whatever healthy habit can keep you going. You see...hurting but still hoping is a part of our journey in this life. Hurting but still hoping is part of our journey in this life. It is an opportunity to face the reality while in the very same breath we acknowledge the hope that this too shall pass. Our hope cannot be seen as only viable if a circumstance or person changes. We hope for the good we know will come from our situation whether the good matches our hoped for outcome. Honestly, I know this can seem impossible. However, I also know that in 40 years I have lived through peaks and valleys and have always found the sunshine in the storm. Sometimes it is much easier to find but it is always there. The idea of waiting patiently through a disappointment or struggle can be an amazing growth opportunity. It allows you to dig deep and find a strength, wisdom, or knowledge that you would not have otherwise. PAUSE AND REFLECT: What is a current disappointment that is impacting your life? How can you find the lesson in this disappointment? Who can support you positively during this difficult time? I encourage you to take a moment, yes, stop whatever you are doing and take a few minutes for YOU. Listen to an encouraging song or just sit in silence and reflect. The most powerful moments in life can be the moments when you are still. As you wrestle through this journey, don't forget: hurting but still hoping is part of our journey. Believe this. Live this. Even when the process feels messy, trust that something beautiful is on the other side.

Say this out loud: " I am valuable. I am enough. I have a voice. I am seen. I am capable." Now believe what you said with every fiber of your being. Believe that you add value to this world. You are uniquely created for a purpose. Do you know that purpose. Take time to reflect and discover the value you offer each and every day. PAUSE HERE AND REFLECT What value can you bring to your interactions today? How can you positively influence others? Believe that you are enough. You don't need to be like your colleague, your neighbor, or a sibling. You add worth to this world just by being YOU. Don't ever allow anyone to tell you otherwise. You were given this value and voice to make a difference. How are you speaking up and advocating for your beliefs? Do you stand true to these values when faced with adversity? I have learned a lot in 18 years as an educator. One of the most valuable lessons is to know who you are and to stay true to yourself no matter what comes your way. And believe me...there will be difficult situations that will try to change you or make you feel less than. Do. Not. Allow. Anyone. To. Take. Your. Excellence. If I could go back in time to my 20s or 30s, I would look myself squarely in the eyes and remind myself that I am valuable, enough, and have a voice for a reason. I would use that voice to speak up more. To stand firm in my beliefs. Please, please don't have this regret like me. You are capable and can stand up for yourself, for others, for students, for what is right. Never doubt your influence or your worth. Always remember these five things: You are valuable. You are enough. You have a voice. You are seen. You are capable. Now use this amazing power to go and make a difference in the life of a student, colleague, a family member, or even a complete stranger. You may never see the impact you made but trust me it is worth the intrinsic motivation you will feel. You will empower yourself, your value, your voice, and realize how capable you are to make a difference no matter how small. Kiss of Sunshine for the Soul Call, text, write, or email someone and thank them for a time they made you feel valued.

Have you ever wondered if you should share your thoughts? Did you question whether they mattered? If anyone would listen? Listen to me --- what if I told you that your voice could impact someone's entire life? Change the trajectory of their future? Then...would it be worth it? Please don't get me wrong, over the past 40 years of my life I have had moments where I sat silent in a meeting, with friends or family, or when a major decision was being made. These moments left me feeling conflicted...stewing over the decision I made. Wondering if my voice would have mattered. As I reflect today, I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to love how God made me. Realize I have a purpose. You see...when I was in my 20s, I spent so much time trying to please others. Trying to seek approval. I now know my life is not about others liking me or trying to make everyone happy. It is about me using my gifts and talents to make this world a better place. In my opinion, if I want to make the world a better place I can't see my life as mundane day-to-day work. I have to believe I have value. We each need to discover who we are, what we value, and then stay true to ourselves. When we do this, we are discovering what matters to us, what we believe in. We can then use our beliefs and our voice to impact others, situations, lives, or even major decisions. I am not an expert by any means, but I do think experiences can provide wisdom. This wisdom allows you to voice perspectives others may not have. Maybe they haven't walked in your shoes. Maybe they haven't had your experience. Regardless, I think it is important to remember that if even ONE person is affected by your voice...it is all worth it!

Why is change so hard? Is it because you are stepping into the unknown? Is is the fear of failure? Are we so ingrained with perfectionism that we cannot allow others to see our errors? Is it a comfortable place to live? Do we cling to our safety net? I can tell you this...as someone who strives for perfection at every corner, I can completely understand fear. The past two weeks I have organized AP Testing for a district with over 2,000 students in each high school. This task felt insurmountable. I have always, I mean always, found a way to make something an A+. I would say my very best effort, each and every day, earned me a D-. Yes, that's right, I would give myself a D-. Why? It was new territory. No matter how many times I read the AP Coordinator's Manual, called College Board and waited on hold (while listening to the dreaded "I'm on hold music"), or asked others a million and one questions, I. MESSED. UP. Yes, that's right. I miscounted the number of exam packs in a tote. I didn't realize until the end of week one that I needed to ask proctors to count the number of materials in their tote before proctoring the test. If felt like I just couldn't do anything right. This really started to wear me down. I was exhausted each and every night. Normally, I am a work horse. I will work into the wee hours, go home and spend time with my family, and then when they are snoring, I will go back at it. Nope. Not this time. This time I would fall asleep sitting up on my couch when I entered the garage door and plopped down in my living room. I was exhausted. How much more could I take? Just as I was finishing up week two, my grandfather passed away and I found out I had strep. This double whammy gave me a slap in the face. As I spent time with my family, mourning the loss of my grandfather, I took a drive with my brother around my grandfather's farm. As I sat quietly in the truck, staring at the beauty around me, I started thinking about everything I had done wrong with AP Testing. Everyone is going to think I am a failure. Everyone will probably say, "Andrea messed that up." In that beautiful moment, a moment when I should have been thinking of anything but AP Testing, I realized why change is so hard. When you are in charge of what's comfortable, you can place yourself on cruise control. You know your way around. It feels safe. I had been placed in a high intense environment, with content that was unfamiliar, and was given no other choice but to dive in head first. This TERRIFIED me! I told myself from the beginning that I would FAIL. I set myself up for failure. I spoke the words out loud - "I will fail" - and then I watched them come to fruition. This is one of the most important wake up calls I have received. When doubt creeps in, when fear of change whispers "you can't," you have to fight for yourself. You have to BELIEVE that you can. You will! When you allow words of negativity to leave your tongue, you are giving the fear of change, the fear of failure, POWER. It doesn't deserve a drop of attention. What advice would I give to myself if I could take the DeLorean Back to the Future? Stop looking back and wishing you had what was before. Stop looking back and wishing for the "last chapter" and see the beauty in the next. Know it will be hard. Know their may be tears, anger, and frustration, but in the end, the beauty, the growth, and the time will all be worth what is waiting on the other side.

"The skinny is about the unadorned facts - the core unobscured essence of the matter“ (Fullan, 2009). As I pondered the unadorned facts about systems change, I began to revisit the analogy to the Food Network. In the beginning of prepping and preparing great recipes, you would open a French chef's cookbook and feel overwhelmed by unknown ingredients and steps that felt overwhelming. Upon try number one, you give up and feel defeated. Walking away from this experience you were determined to never, ever try this again. What the Food Network did, oh so eloquently, was find the skinny. The unadorned fact that if anyone can be a chef (mind wanders to the movie Ratatouille), you must make the complex simple. This is step number one of Motion Leadership. The skinny is about "simplexity" - finding the smallest number of high-leverage, easy-to-understand actions that unleash stunningly powerful consequences” (Fullan, 2009). Once you find the unadorned facts, and figure out how to make the complex simple, you can begin to work as a team. The key is to build capacity. A top-down approach will never, ever work. As leaders, we must jump into the trenches, pull up our sleeves, and immerse ourselves in the day-to-day work. It is our job to model life-long learning and encourage risk-taking (while staying focused on the skinny). It is not our job to micromanage, to make judgments, or believe we have the power to change everyone/everything. A change-savvy leader: carefully enters a new setting listens to and learns from those who have been there the longest engages in fact finding engages in joint problem solving carefully diagnoses the situation forthrightly addresses people's concerns is enthusiastic, genuine, and sincere obtains buy-in for what needs fixing develops a credible plan for making that fix This list is not about finding someone who has all the answers, or a magical solution, it is about a leader who believes in relationships first, relationships always. Once we have developed strong relationships, we have to be the guide on the side who will continue to encourage when the implementation dip occurs, and it will hit you hard. Any change comes with moments of questioning, resistance, frustration, fear, and an insatiable desire to give up when it feels like it is too hard. As a motion leader, your job is to "...demonstrate persistence with flexibility but never stray from the core purpose“ (Fullan, 2009). As you immerse yourself in change, beware of fat plans. Fat plans are the beautifully written 46 page long plans that have the answer to everything. Research has shown the well-served school plans are clearly focused and sufficiently simple so that everyone can understand their role in the execution of the plan. "Research on attitudinal change has long found that most of us change our behaviors somewhat before we get insights into new beliefs” (Fullan, 2009). Within this book, there is a story of Nora, the head lunch lady who was frustrated by her new leader, Jamie Oliver. He wanted to dump her current system on its proverbial head. She resisted and shared her frustration through her words and actions. She was not going to allow someone to change her well-oiled machine. Although Jamie could see the need for change, he decided to reserve judgment and instead take Nora to his famous London restaurant to receive training from his acclaimed chef, Arthur Potts. Nora learned through this experience the importance of basic skills, ensuring you don't overcook food, and the rule that you never, ever send a dish out without tasting first. "Gradually these new behaviors began to make sense to Nora, and she started to alter her beliefs (but not before a few dozen more change obstacles)” (Fullan, 2009). "Behavior before beliefs." The reason Nora was able to change her beliefs was because she was immersed in the change. She was experiencing the behaviors Jamie Oliver believed would positively impact the lunch system. A key takeaway is that you cannot spend inordinate amount of time on beliefs...instead, you need to "...give people new experiences in relatively nonthreatening circumstances, and build on it, especially through interaction with trusted peers...” (Fullan, 2009). If we truly desire change, we must understand that the skinny goes like this: to get anywhere, you have to do something in doing something, you need to focus on developing skills acquisition of skills increases clarity clarity results in ownership doing this together with others generates shared ownership persist no matter what resilience is your best friend As you grow collaboratively, what "...seemed impossible at the beginning was truly not that hard in retrospect." Leaders (which come in many different capacities and without official titles) must learn to become "...savvy by reflective doing..." This continuous process of reviewing, refining, and reflecting will allow the group to develop capacity and begin to believe in themselves and see results. The entire group becomes comfortable with the difficult. You go skinny by "...focusing on the smallest number of things you can describe clearly to others and that have amazing simplexity power” (Fullan, 2009). A connection is made with purpose. Individual teachers begin to see their collective purpose. My students becomes everyone's students; however, we cannot stop there. The next step is a little friendly competition. As the bigger picture comes into focus, with a common endeavor in sue and a greater moral purpose, we need to thrive on a little competitive collaboration. When we look to each other to learn and grow, we become a team. In large school districts, it can be easy to become an island; however, education is not an island business. My kids should be our kids. Each school should be working together with a common vision and set of beliefs. There should be "...high expectations where no excuses are acceptable, with a shared focus for action.“ (Fullan, 2009). Together we have an allegiance to each other. "If they can do it why can't we...it is not the kind of competitiveness that leads to boasting about your school's accomplishments. It is more about competing with yourself to be as good as anyone else” (Fullan, 2009). A final note on motion leadership, an allegiance will not carry the system if we don't have empathy and respect for people who have not had the opportunity to develop the capacity to become effective. As we focus on the skinny, we must always focus on building capacity. For in the end, "...the skinny is that nothing succeeds if only leaders are working on it” (Fullan, 2009).